No Rest For the Wicked
by slimpeaches
Summary: "He wasn't meant to be happy. There are no happy endings for villains." Starts after Hook is cursed by Zelena and continues until after the finale. Hook grapples with the curse, what it takes to be a hero, and where his own destiny lies. How far will he go to protect Emma and save her family? Will he ever get his second chance? CaptainSwan
1. Chapter 1

He suddenly felt the entire weight of the past 300 years pressing down on his chest as he walked away from the docks. The bloodshed, the theft, the women, the pain. He had painted himself black and he couldn't help but feel that he had earned every bit of the punishment he was being dealt. He wasn't meant to be happy.

There are no happy endings for villains.

Villains don't deserve happy endings.

He could barely breathe.

Ever since he had come back to Storybrooke, it was easy to believe that things could be normal again, easy to forget the overwhelming danger they were all facing. It was easy to forget because of her. Emma consumed the whole of his mind and her proximity commanded his attention. He couldn't see beyond the moment, couldn't remember the past. It was all her. He had felt like he could finally breath again after spending a year trying to forget about her. She was so close. He could feel her letting down her walls, allowing him inside ever so slowly. Emma was developing feelings for him. He could see it in the way she looked at him, in the way she said his name. It seemed so possible. Then, in an instant, he was crushed.

His mind jumped back his confrontation with Zelena hours before. He felt so stupid for letting his guard down. As he walked, Hook let the full repercussions of this curse wash over him. His very presence in Storybrooke put Emma and her family in danger. He knew he couldn't remain there any longer.

He was bound to a miserable purgatory; Unable, undeserving to walk in the light with the heroes, to be with the woman he loves and yet unable to go on living as the pirate he once was.

He began to walk faster; He knew what he had to do. Using his eye glass, he peered down the street into Granny's where Emma sat with her family. She looked so happy. He was glad, glad that the last time he saw her would be with a rare, easy smile gracing her lovely face. Killian stood there, lost for a moment, until he noticed Charming stand up from the table and make a move toward the door. He waited for a minute to see if the others were following behind. Instead, they remained at the table while David seemed to be retrieving his wallet from his truck. Hook acted quickly, emerging from around a corner, careful not to be caught in the light from the window.

Grabbing David's arm, he spoke low and urgently. "David-"

"Hook! You really shouldn't scare people like that. What are you doing lurking in dark alleys at night anyway? We're just about to get dessert, come join us!"

A polite smile barely twitched at the corners of Hook's mouth as he continued. He sighed.

"David, we need to talk.."

"Now Hook, I thought we agreed; We're just friends. There is nothing between us."

Had this daft fool been drinking?

Finally seeing the expression of pain and determination on Hook's face, his jovial tone changed.

"What's going on?"

Killian looked around as he spoke. "We can't talk here. It's not safe. I need to speak with you, without anyone else knowing."

A worried expression now colored the prince's face.

"Is everything, alright?"

"No. It's not. There has been a new.. development.. in our witch problem."

"We've got to tell the others, Regina and Emma have been working on a way to defeat her-"

As Charming started toward the door, Hook grabbed his arm and held it tightly, desperate for him to understand.

"**No one** can know."

Charming hesitated and looked confused as he met the pirate's eyes.

"Meet me at the Rabbit Hole tonight. Midnight."

He glanced back at the window where Snow and Emma were starting to peer out toward the street to find out where David could have gone. Brows still furrowed, he nodded.

"Ok."

/ / / / / / / / / / /

He waited in the darkest corner of the bar for Charming to arrive, hoping not be to noticed or bothered. He drank as he waited. He knew the next few hours would be almost too difficult to bear.

Finally Hook spotted Charming striding toward him. He looked apprehensively at his surroundings as he made his way over to the table.

"Do you think you could have picked a seedier meeting place?" His tone unsuccessfully attempting to diffuse the tension.

"People in a place like this are too busy tending to their own sorrows to care about another's conversation."

David raised his eyebrows as if to acknowledge his point. He didn't waste any more time.

"So, what's going on Hook?"

"Zelena accosted me on the docks tonight-"

"Wait, when you were with Ariel?"

"Ariel was never here, mate."

The prince paused in shock and bewilderment

"It was Zelena."

"But Emma said you guys checked in on her and Eric, that she found him!"

"Aye, that we did. But what they don't know is that she found him a long time ago and has been with him on that island ever since."

"What?! So today, the girl on the beach, the one you helped, it was Zelena the whole time?"

"Aye. She disguised herself in order to get close to me."

"What the hell happened?"

Hook paused as he tried to think of a way to keep the story simple without revealing too many unflattering details.

"When we were on the docks, one moment I was talking to Ariel, the next, Zelena. She disarmed me then cursed me."

David's brows furrowed as he stared intensely at the pirate.

"What do you mean? What kind of curse?"

Hook let out a frustrated sigh and looked down at the table, knowing the conversation was going to get a lot more uncomfortable.

"She cursed my lips. She said the next time I kiss Emma, all her magic will be gone."

Amid his concern, a brief look of amusement passed over the prince's lips, no doubt relishing the restriction placed between the pirate and his daughter.

"So then don't kiss her."

Killian struggled to keep his voice low despite his growing frustration.

"And you don't think I've thought of that! The witch said that if I didn't.. remove her powers.. she would kill everyone Emma loves. Her friends, her family, her son.. I won't allow that to happen."

Drawing a deep breath, David replied, "What are you going to do?"

"I'm leaving- removing myself from the game. Without me here, the witch will have no way to remove Emma's powers. With me gone, she won't try and harm any of you, that is, until she finds another way to leverage your lives."

David sat for a moment, rubbing his temples.

"You know she'll kill you if you try and leave."

"Aye. That she will." Hook gazed off beyond the prince. "Tis a small price to pay."

David's eyes lit with recognition as he heard his own words from Neverland echoed by the pirate.

"You don't know what you're saying- Regina and Emma, they will find a way to defeat Zelena- Regina has cast protective spells- No harm will come to my family. I will see to that."

Hook sat opposite him, completely unfazed. His mind was already made up.

"I leave tomorrow evening, just as soon as I can make ready a ship."

"We need to here to fight with us against Zelena. You can't leave Hook- there will be another way! Good always wins."

The heroic virtue that surrounded Charming fell in sharp contrast to the dingy bar where they sat.

Hook's roughish eyes met the prince's as he smiled bitterly.

"You're forgetting one thing, mate- I'm not good."

He started to make his way up, "And by the way, don't tell any of the others that I'm leaving."

David looked at him incredulously.

"So that's it?"

Hook nodded solemnly, "Aye. I will do what I must."

David stood in front of him, blocking his way as he stared intensely at the pirate.

"You won't leave her."

The look in David's eyes sent a chill down Hook's spine. He wasn't trying to call his bluff; It was a command. As much as David wouldn't admit it, he knew how much Killian meant to Emma. It was a look that said, "She's been through enough pain. Don't you dare break her heart."

Hook glared back at David.

He let out a deep breath, feeling less hostile and a hell of a lot more vulnerable.

"What the hell I am supposed to do, Dave?"

It came out more desperate than he intended. Though Hook didn't want him to know, his opinion really did matter. After all, that the reason he sought out David. There was a part of him that wanted to do things the hero's way.

David looked at him firmly.

"Stay. We'll tell Regina and figure out a way to fix this."

Hook nodded hesitantly. Charming gave a reassuring smile as he clapped his shoulder.

"It'll all work out. It always does."

/ / / / / / / /

They left the bar in a hurry and despite the late hour, did not hesitate in knocking urgently on Regina's door. Soon they found themselves face to face with an incensed evil queen who looked remarkably alert and put together for such an ungodly hour.

"What the hell is going on?" She stood imposingly in her silken gray pajamas with one hand still on the door. Her eyes darted between the two men on her doorstep. She looked Charming up and down.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Yes, but no, that's not why we're here-"

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you boys but I'm not in the mood for a slumber party."

Hook stepped forward, his eyes imploring her to understand.

"Regina, this is urgent. I've been cursed-"

She raised an elegant eyebrow in curiosity.

"And you want me to help you? Why should I do that?"

"Please- she's going to hurt Henry!"

The queen's eyes darkened and the taunting smile disappeared from her lips.

"Come inside."

She led them into her study and invited them to have a seat.

"Wait here."

She returned moments later with a dark silky robe now covering her gray pajamas. Now she stood in front of her desk, leaning back on it slightly.

"Now, explain to me what happened."

Killian cleared his throat, a bit flustered to once again be sharing the tale. He explained how Zelena disguised herself as Ariel, cornered him on the docks and cursed his lips. He explained the threats Zelena made against Emma and her family, namely Henry, should he refuse to kiss her.

"So, you want the curse broken so you can kiss Emma?" She spoke cooly and evenly as she wandered over to the bookshelf and silently pulled an old volume from its place.

Her words frustrated Killian.

"No. The curse needs to be broken so I no longer pose a threat to the safety of her and her family. I need it broken so that Emma's powers may remain intact."

As Regina opened the book in her hand and puzzled over the situation, a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. She looked up to meet the captain's gaze.

"Tell me Hook, what were the **exact** circumstances under which Zelena was able to curse you."

He knew by her confident, amused expression that she had an idea of what it took to cast that certain curse.

"I already told you. She pretended to be the mermaid, she disarmed me, then she cursed me."

The queen feigned urgency. "Captain, we can't afford to leave out any detail. You must be more specific. What was your exact conversation?"

Regina looked at him knowingly while Charming waited anxiously for Hook to explain what was going on. Hook took note of the evident pleasure the queen was taking in watching him squirm.

Killian sighed and ran a tense hand through his hair before spilling his secrets.

"Ariel and I met during the lost year. She asked me to help her find her lost prince who had been captured by the same pirate who stole my ship. In the end, I chose recapturing my ship over the life of her prince.

That decision haunted me until the present and when I got the chance today, I confessed my shame to Ariel. Zelena had used that guilt to manipulate me. I told her I would do anything to take that choice back, to make things right. Then she made me swear it, to swear on the woman I love. And so I did, I swore on Emma Swan."

He kept his eyes low as he waited for their reaction. David gaped at the pirate's confession.

"You what?! You can't love Emma-"

Hook turned, looking rather defeated, to face David.

"After what happened in Neverland, I'm not sure you should be completely surprised, mate."

Regina looked on with an expression of both enjoyment and disgust.

"300 years of pillaging and plundering and now a kidnapped prince is all it takes to spoil your conscience? Captain, you've gone soft. I think I liked you better when you were a pirate."

Despite her jabs, Hook remained stone faced. If he didn't need her help, he would probably be threatening her. He hated feeling so exposed, so weak.

"So what can we do now?"

Regina continued thumbing through the old book in her hands.

"Well, unfortunately, the curse she cast is a strong one that is not easily broken. Breaking it will be especially challenging given that it was sealed by a love confession."

Her words fell heavily on his chest.

"Can it be broken?"

Seemingly unaffected by the pirate's plight, Regina replied matter-of-factly, "Well, yes, every curse _can_ be broken, however, I'm not sure I will be able to do it. Zelena has been well trained and I don't know that I can undo what she has done."

It felt like a knife was being twisted into his heart.

"There is _something_ though.. Tell me Hook, is Emma in love with you?"

His mind reeled at her bold question, replaying every moment of the past few months. His attempt to kiss her in New York, her constant jabs to his ego, her seeming indifference to his advances.. A quiet realization came over him.

"No." He replied flatly.

Was that a quiet chuckle he heard from the queen?

"Well, that is unfortunate Captain. Your pretty face buys you a lot, but never what you _really_ want. Isn't that so?"

Damn. She was just like her mother. He wondered how she managed to be so cruel even as her son was in danger.

Regina's expression softened ever so slightly as she looked Killian squarely in the face.

"True love's kiss will break the curse, pirate."

Hook's eyes searched the queen's face, willing her to say something else, anything that could help. David stared blankly out the window.

The captain forced himself to regain his composure despite his aching heart.

"Well, this was an enormous waste of time. Thank you David, Regina."

He nodded mockingly to both of them as he stood to leave.

"As per my original decision, I will leave tomorrow evening. Now, if the two of you would be so kind, I request you keep this incident to yourselves, lest anyone else should try and stand in my way."

David looked up at him, his disappointment evident. He didn't try and stop him this time.

/ / / / / /

He felt his heart being torn to shreds inside his chest. For a flickering moment, he had once again dared to hope that there was a way to undo what was done, to make things right again. It was never meant to be. There was no way to make right the wrongs he had committed in his life.

Even if he found some way to lift the curse, the past could not be undone. He was doomed to pay the consequences of his mistakes.


	2. Chapter 2

"Arggh, bloody hell"

He woke in a nightmarish, hungover fog. The events of the prior night swam around his head like ghastly specters. He rubbed his throbbing head as he sat up. The stark, early morning light illuminated the calamity of his rented room. He vaguely remembered trying to drown his misery with rum upon returning. The current state of his room filled in the missing details.

_How the hell did I not wake the whole damn place?_

He saw empty bottles scattered on the floor, broken bottles by the wall, his few belongings tossed about. He suddenly noticed the bloody, aching knuckles on his right hand.

_What the hell did I punch last night?_

He recalled the freewheeling abandon he used to find when he drank. Last night, however, it would not come. The place he found at the bottom of that bottle was among the saddest and tortured he'd been since Milah died.

He had had centuries of practice not giving a damn, of shoving the pain away. It worked well until he met Emma. She tore down his defenses, leaving him exposed and bleeding. Before her, he could kill a man without so much as a blink of an eye. Now, everything he had known felt so wrong. She was melting his blackened heart and making him believe he could be good once again.

As he tried to wrestle himself out of this drowsy stupor, his impending departure came to the front of his mind. There was a lot he needed to prepare and he had no motivation to do any of it.

_BANG BANG BANG_

_Shit. Who the hell could that be?_

Feeling immensely more terrible upon standing, he made his way unsteadily to the door. When he caught sight of his reflection in a mirror, he was shocked. His face was ashen, his eyes glassy and bloodshot, and he noticed new nicks and scratches all over his body (no doubt from his own surrogate appendage). He looked like he was only half alive.

_BANG BANG BANG_

He gave no reply. Instead he crept soundlessly to the door and looked through the peep hole.

Emma.

He definitely did not have the strength to face her in that moment. He feared if he let her in, he'd stay forever. He reminded himself it was all for her. He needed to do this for her.

_BANG BANG BANG_

"Hook! I know you're in there. Open up, dammit!"

He clenched his fist at his side. She was making this impossible.

_BANG BANG BANG BANG _

"Open the door or I'll open it for you, either way, I'm coming in!"

He raised his eyebrows. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Was she going to break down the door? He wondered what was so urgent. Bracing himself, he opened the door abruptly.

Emma was standing there and from her posture he guessed that she was preparing to levy some serious force upon his door. Hook stood in the doorway, his body deliberately blocking her view of his room. When she caught sight of him, she was uncharacteristically speechless. He guessed it was because of his haggard appearance paired with his current state of undress. Under any other circumstance, he would've said one of the half dozen flirtatious innuendoes which passed through his mind, but not today.

He leaned against the door jam, his hook around the doorknob.

"You certainly know how to wake a man up."

Her eyes were still roaming over his body, trying to make sense of its strange condition.

"It's 1 in the afternoon, what were you doing?"

He tried his best to appear nonchalant.

"Trying to sleep, before you threatened to kick my bloody door down."

As she continued to assess him, her irritation was quickly being replaced by concern. "What happened last night?"

"Seems like a rather personal question- "

"I thought I heard loud noises and glass breaking. It sounded like you were fighting with someone."

His heart skipped a beat. She was infuriatingly perceptive.

"Must've been from another room, love"

"I was worried when I didn't see you this morning, I thought something happened to you."

"And yet here I am, right as rain."

Though he had become skilled at deception, as he stood before Emma, his hollow voice betrayed him.

"Right.."

Her brows were still furrowed as she looked at him suspiciously.

He could tell she wasn't buying his story but for now she would let it drop. She paused for another moment.

"I was wondering if you could watch Henry again this afternoon for a few hours. I have magic training with Regina again."

He rubbed his temple as she spoke.

"Perhaps his grandparents would like to spend some time with him?"

She was caught off guard by his response and he could tell she was getting more and skeptical of him. She paused for a moment, conceivably a bit hurt by his reluctance.

"Mary Margaret isn't feeling well today. David is staying home to take care of her."

That was it. He couldn't offer any more excuses without completely arousing her suspicion. He tried to add some cheerfulness to his tone.

"Right then. You can drop him by in about an hour."

"Sounds good."

He could hear the touch of apprehension in her voice. As Hook turned back into his room, Emma stepped a bit closer.

"Killian,"

He met her earnest gaze.

"You can tell me anything."

How he wished that were true.

* * *

"Are we going on your boat again today?"

Hook looked down at the young boy walking beside him.

"Something like that. Before we do, however, I need to gather a few things in town."

The captain needed to buy some supplies if he was going to journey to another far away land and he had limited time to do it. His only option was to bring the boy along and try to be an inconspicuous as possible. Purchases of food rations and nautical supplies went unquestioned by the boy; It was only when they arrived at Gold's pawn shop that Killian noted some suspicion in Henry's eyes. He told him to wait outside for a moment while he took care of some business. Hook needed to procure protective measures to at least give himself a shadow of a chance at escaping Zelena. Upon exiting Gold's shop, Killian could practically hear the questions bouncing around in Henry's mind but he never asked. Instead, Henry remained mostly quiet as they made their way to the docks.

A part of Killian was glad to have the boy with him as he prepared the ship to go. Aside from being helpful, he was good company. Being on a vessel with the lad reminded him so much of the time he spent with his father, Bae, when he was a boy. Hook smiled inwardly at the thought of teaching Henry everything he knew about sailing before remembering with bitterness that this would be the last time he would see him. His heart ached. He hadn't forgotten how eager he had been to raise Baelfire as his own son after Milah died and how tragic it had been to see him go. Killian firmly reminded himself that it was for the boy and his mother's safety that he was leaving.

"Henry m'boy, do you remember the knots we worked on last time?"

Henry nodded.

"D'you think you could give me a hand in tying a few?" The captain held out the length of rope he had in his right hand.

As the two of them worked, Killian noticed Henry's gaze lingering on his left hand which was next to useless. He was not used to wearing the prosthetic. Having had a lot of practice, he found his hook to be a relatively helpful appendage, however, it was a great deal too problematic to have to explain away.

When his curiosity became too much to bear, Henry blurted out, "Killian, what happened to your hand?"

Without thinking, Hook replied with waning but ever present venom, "The crocodile-"

He stopped himself, "A crocodile absconded with it many years ago."

He saw the boy's eyes widen in horror and disbelief.

"Like Captain Hook?"

Killian was momentarily frozen at the sound of his own title. Was Henry starting to remember? He tried not to look alarmed and did his best to feign ignorance.

"Captain who?" He replied gruffly.

Henry looked dumbfounded.

"Haven't you ever read Peter Pan?"

Ah, he had almost forgotten. He vaguely recalled Emma talking about the story of Peter Pan most children in this land were familiar with. Hiding his true identity from Henry was proving a challenge, especially given his apparent familiarity with fairy tale characters. It also didn't help that the boy was inquisitive and very clever.

The real pirate captain cleared his throat as he scratched his ear.

"Afraid not m'boy."

As Hook turned to continue inspecting the readiness of the boat, he spotted Emma striding toward them. Henry saw her too.

"Hey mom!" Henry dropped what he was doing and started down off the boat toward Emma.

"Hey kid," She smiled down at Henry as she ruffled his hair. "How was your day?"

"Good," He smiled back at her.

"We better get moving, Mary Margaret and David invited us over for dinner. Grab your things and we'll go."

As Henry grabbed his coat from the ship, Emma approached the captain. "Thanks again, Killian." She smiled gently.

There was so much he wanted to tell her.

"I would do anything for you Miss Swan."

His expression remained dark. He wanted her to feel the depth of what would be his final words to her.

She opened her mouth as if to say something but words failed her. Her reverie was broken as Henry clamored off the ship.

"Ready mom?"

She turned her attention back to Henry. "What do you say?"

"Thanks Killian!"

The pirate smiled weakly down at the boy.

"My pleasure."

"I'll see you later Killian," She casually remarked as she moved to leave.

"Farewell Emma"

* * *

**Thank you all for the reviews! Your encouragement is very appreciated. If you like what you see, continue to read and review, thanks!  
**Stay tuned for chapter 3 - it's about to get real dramatic up in here! ;)


	3. Chapter 3

He stood on the dock surveying the horizon as the sinking sun set the clouds ablaze. Everything was in order. The busyness of the day had kept his mind off the beautiful woman he was leaving behind. His mind drifted back to a conversation he had with Regina aboard the Jolly Roger. She had asked him whether or not he believed that villains don't get happy endings.

He remembered his response-

"I hope not, or we've wasted our lives."

His lips twisted into a humorless smile. There was no room for hope anymore. It was the hope that grew in his heart that was now killing him. Hope was for heroes, for the ones with the promise of love and a future, for the ones who deserved happiness. He certainly didn't deserve happiness and the only chance he had to say his life wasn't a waste was to lay it down for the sake of the woman who held his heart.

He began walking down the dock as if a death march without even a glance back at the town of Storybrooke. His black leather attire hung heavy on his frame like armor. He was a jaded knight who had accepted his fate and would face it boldly. A noise pulled from his thoughts as he imagined he heard Emma's voice calling to him.

Her voice got louder. No, it wasn't in his head.

"Hook!" He again heard her voice before her aggressive footsteps. He didn't turn around, instead he kept walking purposefully toward his ship.

"Hook!" She was pissed.

"Hey," She grabbed his arm forcefully, commanding his attention. "What the hell, Hook?"

He spun around suddenly and locked into her burning gaze. The raging fire in her eyes surprised him.

She was furious.

"Henry told me what you two were up to today. Did you really think I wouldn't catch on?"

Her chest was heaving and her heated words flew hastily from her mouth.

"You're leaving?"

She already knew the answer and she wasn't asking. Instead, he heard in her voice the question she couldn't say. _"How could you abandon me?"_

His stomach twisted. He despised himself for being added to the growing list of people she had lost or of people who had left her. With all his heart he wanted to protect her, to stand by her and shield her from all harm. That was something, however, he could never give her because of the witch. His very presence put her in more danger than she was already facing.

"You weren't even going to tell me."

He wanted to explain everything, the witch, the curse, why he had to go- how he would never stop loving her. He instead what came out was a pathetic attempt at his normal charming arrogance.

"The time has come for me to be moving on. There's villages to plunder, treasure to find, loose women to bed.."

She didn't even blink.

"Bullshit."

Damn. The woman could see right through him. Trying again to dodge the discussion, he attempted an offhand tone.

"The sea calls to me, lass."

"Why is it easier for you to be an asshole than to be honest and vulnerable."

She countered him again. Her lips were set in a firm straight line, her long blonde hair tossed wildly in the strong breeze.

"You wanna tell me the real reason you're jumping ship or do you want to waste _more _time bullshiting me?"

Killian struggled to come up with another answer. She always knew when he was lying. He didn't know what to say. Leaving her was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do and she was making it even more fucking difficult.

Before he could find an answer, her frustration had reached a climax; She was nearing the end of her rope. Emma stepped closer to him, aggressively invading his space. The golden sunlight set the ends of her hair on fire. Her hazel eyes bore into his. She swallowed hard and took a long breath. Were those tears welling up in her eyes?

"Killian, you owe this to me."

He was undone. His arrogant facade crumbled, leaving him raw and exposed. He quickly looked away from Emma's pleading eyes. He struggled for words as he choked back his own tears.

"Lass-"

Emma's expression was changing as her anger gave way to sadness.

"Killian, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you away. I was so focused on protecting Henry and defeating Zelena-"

"No, Emma," Her name spilled out like a prayer from the depths of his soul, "you've done nothing wrong, love." He couldn't bear the thought of her blaming herself for his exile. He barely resisted the urge to reach out and sooth the sadness from her brow.

"I can remain here no longer, but you must know that _nothing_ has changed since Neverland. I pray you will forgive me and that one day you'll understand."

Tears were threatening to pour down her cheeks as she struggled to remain composed.

"So this is it?" The hurt and sadness in her words bore straight into his heart.

He squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed thickly as he forced himself to breath again. Upon opening his eyes, he once again met her pleading gaze.

"Aye." It took every ounce of self control he had to utter the word.

They stood another moment in silence before she whispered, "You don't have to go."

He couldn't even bring himself to respond. Instead, he held her eyes for a moment longer then turned to go. He felt her eyes on him for another minute before he heard her retreating footsteps.

When he climbed the ramp to board the ship, he looked back one last time. She was gone.

His breath caught in his throat and he gripped the rail to steady himself. He had just said goodbye to his last chance at a happy ending. Reaching into his coat, he grabbed his flask and quickly drained it of it's contents. Trying to regain control of his thoughts, he turned around toward the boat. It was nearly dark now and he needed to start making his way. His thoughts were interrupted when suddenly a flash of green appeared and a voice sounded behind him.

There on the docks was the Wicked Witch herself.

"Oh Hook," She mocked him, "Leaving without a good bye kiss? And here I thought you were a gentleman."

He was full of rage and out of witty comebacks. The pirate captain strode fearlessly toward the witch, the harsh lights of the marina casting dark shadows on his grizzled face.

"You know I can't allow that." With every one of her casual remarks, he felt hot fury coursing through his veins. He was seeing red.

"THEN KILL ME!" It was a desperate plea soaked in rage that spilled out over his lips.

Zelena stepped closer, unflustered. With a chuckle she replied, "I hardly see how that would benefit me, captain."

Her pale eyes stared vacuously into his.

"No, pirate, you will live. I'll make sure of that. And until you kiss dear Emma and remove her powers, I will make life hell for both of you."

With that, the Wicked Witch pulled a dagger from her cloak. Before he could react she plunged the blade into his abdomen. His icy blue eyes glared back at her defiantly as he prayed for death. She twisted the dagger inside him and with a final bloodcurdling cry, Killian fell to his knees, overwhelmed by the pain. He heard the witch cackle before disappearing with a flash.

He felt the life draining out of him. His chest was tight and his shallow breaths were knives in his lungs. A deafening hum throbbed in his ears. His fingers were cold. Everything was cold. The stars above him seemed to fade in and out. He imagined saw the face of his lovely Emma before darkness overcame him.

* * *

**Once again, thank you all for your reviews. I sincerely appreciate your comments! This was a tough chapter, right? But this is not the end! Where will our handsome pirate end up? Stay tuned to find out. A lot of you have been asking about a happy ending for Hook? Will he get it? I can't tell, but I hope so ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

He was only half aware of being partly conscious, his foggy mind catching bits of things he was unable to string together. Panicked voices, bright lights, people rushing to and fro, all shaded by stifling darkness and tinted by steady pain. It felt like a perpetual drift, like the ebb and flow of the tides, one moment half here, the next half gone. He wasn't sure where he was or how long he'd been there.

Amid his spinning mind, his thoughts began to gather around a sensation on the top of his head. He felt warmth, a continual rhythm radiating from his forehead. Back and forth, back and forth. He leaned into the feeling with all his concentration, when suddenly, it was gone. No sooner had his mind registered the departure than he felt the warmth again on his cheek. It was a touch, a gentle hand was now resting near his jaw.

_Emma._

It was as if her hand plunged down into the depths of his drowning mind and pulled him back to the surface.

Through slitted eyes he started putting his thoughts together while attempting to wrestle himself into full consciousness.

He recognized this place.

_Bloody hell. The damn hospital again. Why am I in the hospital? _

There was a weight on the bed beside him and a warmth still on his cheek. He looked up to see Emma gazing down at him. He had never seen her look so unguarded.

"Killian.. I didn't think you were going to make it."

Her expression told him she still wasn't certain that he would.

_Make what? Why was she acting like he was dying? _

He suddenly recalled his confrontation with Zelena. She had stabbed him!

_Son of a bitch. No wonder he was in the hospital. _

The witch's words echoed again in his mind,

_"..you will live, pirate. I'll make sure of that."_

She didn't want to get rid of him, she wanted to prevent him from leaving.

Emma's hand moved from his cheek to stroke his hair again. He drew a deep breath as her name started to form on his lips.

"Em-"

She shook her head firmly.

"You have to rest. Go back to sleep, I'll be watching over you."

"Mmm"

She was so warm. He closed his eyes as he allowed his mind to sink once again into the deep blackness. He had no fear of drowning for her presence was his anchor.

* * *

Sleep came easy but staying asleep did not. There were constant noises from every direction and the occasional prod as nurses came in to check his condition. He heard the shuffle of footsteps. It made him uncomfortable to know there were people staring at him in such a vulnerable state. His brow twitched as voices began to register in his mind. He recognized Mary Margaret's.

"How is Hook?"

Having heard his name, he kept the appearance of sleep.

"Remarkably, still alive." Emma's voice sounded near the place where he lay.

"What happened to him? David said you found him on the docks?" Snow's gentle voice grew louder as she moved to stand by his bedside.

"Yea, I was near the docks when heard a loud shout. I found him lying there, unconscious in a pool of blood. There was what looked like a stab wound in his abdomen, a very deep stab wound. Whale said he was lucky, it didn't damage any major organs."

The story she told sounded like one she'd had to repeat several times.

David spoke from Mary Margaret's side.

"The doctor said he had already lost a lot of blood. If Emma hadn't found him when she did, he would have died."

It was the Evil Queen he heard next.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that."

_Oh bloody hell, did they invite the whole crew?_

She continued, "It was more than quick thinking that kept the captain alive. Whoever attacked him could have easily finished the job, but for some reason, they didn't."

"Why would someone want to hurt Hook without killing him?" Emma wondered aloud.

A silent pause fell across the group as they all wondered the same thing.

An unexpected question from Emma punctured the silence.

"Regina, would you mind staying with Henry at my place tonight?"

Her words were followed by a pregnant pause. There was palpable tension in the room as everyone simultaneously arrived at the same conclusion.

Emma planned on spending the night in the hospital with the pirate.

"Of course." Regina sounded both careful not to acknowledge Emma's intentions and genuinely honored by the request.

"David and Mary Margaret brought him over, he's been hanging out in the lobby."

"Oh good. I'll go get him."

He heard the clack clack clack of Regina's heels disappearing down the hall.

"Anyone want some coffee? I'm gonna go grab some." The prince's voice was also moving toward the door.

The two remaining women murmured, "No, thank you."

Mary Margaret sighed as she navigated her very pregnant self into a chair near his bed, beside Emma.

She spoke quietly to her daughter.

"How are _you_ doing?"

"I'm fine," Emma replied too hastily.

Another minute passed.

"He was leaving." Her voice was almost too soft to hear.

"What?" Snow's voice too was barely above a whisper.

"Hook. The reason I was at the docks was because I found out that he was trying to leave."

He noted the concern in Snow's voice.

"Why would he try to leave? And without telling anyone?"

"I don't know."

"I wonder if he was running from the same person who attacked him on the dock."

"Could be. Or maybe he'd just rather fly solo again, escape this whole screwed up situation."

"Emma, I don't think.." Mary Margaret's voice trailed off as the sound of approaching footsteps ended with David standing by the doorway, coffee in hand.

"Snow, it's getting late, maybe we should head home, get some rest."

Mary Margaret must've agreed as Hook heard her rise from the chair and start toward the door.

"Goodnight, Emma."

The Charmings bid their daughter goodbye and hesitated momentarily, not sure whether or not to say goodnight to a man who was presumably unconscious.

And then, it was just her. He heard her shift in her chair. He was sure she was staring at him. Then, she was seated on the bed beside him again. Her fingers ran in long strokes through his hair. The rhythm of her hand comforted him beyond words. She leaned closer to him. He could almost feel her warm breath on his face.

"Goodnight Killian."

He loved the way his name sounded as the whisper left her lips. She moved closer still, her nose brushing against his cheek. She was so close. His heart beat faster.

Then, suddenly, he realized what was happening. His eyes shot open as his body jolted awake.

In a panicked, startling cry he shouted, "NO!"

His echoing shout shattered the stillness of the quiet, dark room. Hook's eyes locked with Emma's. The look on her face was one of total shock and indignation. She hadn't expected him to wake up, let alone yell at her.

Emma's eyes were like saucers and her mouth hung open. He could tell she wanted say something, probably something along the lines of "What the hell?!", but the words wouldn't come.

Still trying to catch his breath, he managed to utter "I had a bad dream. Sorry love, didn't mean to startle you."

Emma, still looking very confused, could only nod in response. She slipped off the bed and moved to the other side of the room, pretending to be doing something.

"I'll be back in a little while, do you need anything?"

She looked back toward Hook.

"Not a thing." He mumbled.

He sighed as he heard her footsteps disappearing down the hall.

This was not how he imagined their first night together.

* * *

**See, a bit of sweetness, a little more light hearted. A much needed tender moment. We needed this after tonight's episode. FYI this story so far has taken place between 3x17 and 3x18. I will continue to try and incorporate canon as much as I can. Thanks once again for your reviews. I do love them so. It makes me smile you know you feel what I'm feelin! **


	5. Chapter 5

Killian was glad to be out of the hospital and back in full leather again. A great deal of pain still lingered and he was not able to move around as much as he would like, but he _was_ feeling better, perhaps only for escaping the unyielding spotlight. During his stay, he found the degree of attention surrounding him and his mysterious attack to be quite annoying. News spread fast in Storybrooke and a whole cast of characters had filed in and out over the course of the few days he stayed there. The Charmings, the queen, and the boy came in, even his old first mate stopped by to wish him well. It was humiliating really. Not to mention, he had remembered too late that hospital gowns are open in the back. He shook his head as he tried to forget the indignity of it all.

It was recommended that he should stay another few days to ensure his stitches wouldn't get infected and that everything was healing properly, but he'd had all he could take of the sterile prison. Though he'd suffered worse, and with less sophisticated medical care, his injury combined with the frustration and hopelessness of Zelena's curse made his situation almost unbearable. Some nights as he lay there, he wished he would just die. Even in the midst of his sorrow, through it all was Emma. She stayed to make sure he was all right and more often than she let on, she had stayed up late nights, sitting by his bed. A few nights, when she thought he was sleeping, he heard her singing, so softly he may have imagined it.

Since his attack, Killian found himself becoming more and more part of the core effort to stop Zelena. Emma kept him posted on new developments as they happened and invited him to meetings with Regina and the Charmings. While he was glad to know everything that was going on, being together with all of them put him on edge. He was paranoid about his secret coming out and of being in close proximity to Emma.

Currently, he was making his way to Regina's house. She had an idea of how to discover the witch's plans and had called them all together. Killian's knock on the door was answered promptly by the queen herself.

"Good afternoon, Captain."

He gave her a nod as he walked over the threshold.

"My queen."

She showed him into her study, as she had several nights before, and turned to speak with him.

"And how is our favorite one-handed pirate faring today?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. He could tell she enjoyed teasing him. Her question was a loaded one, as he knew she was referencing both his recent brush with death and his ongoing curse problem.

"As good as can be expected, all things considered," he replied dryly.

"Indeed." Regina paused as she considered her next words.

"You can't outrun her, you know."

"Aye. Seems as though I've already figured _that_ out the hard way."

"I'm talking about Emma. She needs to know what's going on. The truth will come out eventually."

Killian was taken aback by the queen's uncharacteristic show of concern. He sighed as he took a seat by the door.

"This is the only way I know to protect her. Zelena said that if I told Emma, she would kill her loved ones."

"While I don't doubt that, keep in mind that my sister is a master manipulator. She knows a divided front will leave us weak."

Regina spoke as she walked toward the center of the room. She picked up a green apple from the basket on a near-by table. Holding it in her hand, she took a moment to regard the rather weary looking captain sitting across the room. She gave him a sympathetic half smile.

"The hero's way is quite an unfamiliar one, ey Captain?"

"Aye, that it is." Killian let out an exasperated laugh.

Regina tossed the apple to him.

"Things can only get better. Everyone deserves a second chance."

While Regina left the room, her words circled in his mind as he pondered his warped reflection in the shiny green apple. His thoughts were interrupted when as Emma entered through the door behind him.

"I'd watch out for the apples in this house if I were you."

* * *

Of all the crazy shit he had seen in his 300 years, that was some of the craziest. Contacting ruthless sorceresses from beyond the grave wasn't on his short list of good ideas.

_Whatever it takes, I suppose._

As he and the others moved toward the door, he found himself wanting to put a protective hand on the small of Emma's back. He stopped himself. Any affection was too risky. Though he resisted with his body, as they walked out, his mind wandered again to the small of her back, to her slim waist. How he desired to be the one to hold her, to protect and comfort her. He felt his heart pang in his chest.

After saying goodbye to David, Emma and Hook were left alone, headed down the road together.

"That was an interesting, huh?" Emma shot him a side ways smile as they walked.

"If that's what you want to call it."

"I just hope I can improve my magic in time to defeat Zelena. Are you headed back to Granny's?"

"That I am."

"Good, I have something I want to show you. Since I've been working with Regina, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve now."

They continued walking in a comfortable silence.

"By the way, how are you feeling? You know, since you left the hospital?"

"I've been better, but I'm healing quickly."

He stole a glance at his lovely companion.

"I was in good hands."

He couldn't help but smile as she smiled back up at him.

* * *

**As you can see, we've moved through some of the events of 3x18 so far and will continue to follow the story and fill in the details. 2 updates within 24 hours? You guys are getting spoiled ;) Love the reviews, you all make my day. Much love**


	6. Chapter 6

Emma was bubbling over with excitement to demonstrate how sharply she was now able to focus her magic. He loved seeing her harness the power she was born with. There was something so beautiful about her strength and ability. She was a warrior, the savior, and the only hope of vanquishing the evil that surrounded them. With the way her skills had been progressing, there was a real shot that between her and Regina, Zelena could be defeated.

As she practiced, Killian sat at a booth, pouring over an old book about magic in an effort to find an alternative of breaking the curse the witch had cast on his lips. The more he researched, the more hopeless his situation seemed.

He glanced up at his companion who was now sitting at the bar, focused on her cup of hot chocolate. Then, flash, in an instant, he found himself sitting in front of the very same cup.

"That's impressive," he remarked as he moved the beverage off his book.

The weight on his shoulders made it difficult to share in her moment of happy levity.

"Wanna see something really impressive?" A mischievous smile played on her lips as she flicked her wrist.

The sound of tinkling metal came from near the coat rack. He looked down to see that his hook was now gone and realized what she'd done. Emma giggled as she succeeded in disarmed him, literally.

"That's bad form Swan, tampering with a man's hook."

He wasn't in the mood to be emasculated. He was already feeling helpless and vulnerable enough. He strode over to where he saw his hook dangling from the rack and fastened it back into place. Why was it that when she was finally flirting with him and enjoying his company, he had to keep his distance?

"Ok, seriously, what's up with you?"

He sighed. He knew he shouldn't be taking any of this out on Emma. It wasn't her fault.

"I apologize for my rudeness."

He took his seat again, sitting right across from her and tried to settle back into his reading.

The recent words and events kept just out of mind came back into play as their chatter trailed off into silence. He knew the whole trying-to-leave-Storybrooke episode was still at the front of her mind. More silent moments passed. The wind outside could be heard rustling the trees and whistling through a crack in the diner's door.

"I'm glad you're still here," Emma spoke softly.

He resisted the urge to meet her smiling eyes, instead keeping them firmly planted in his reading.

"Whether I like it or not, I'm not going anywhere."

The wheels in Emma's mind were turning, wondering about the meaning behind his cryptic words. She was waiting on him to elaborate; He didn't.

"What happened at the docks that night after I left?"

"It's a long story, too long for now."

"Well, it could be a piece to this puzzle, something that we're missing. If you know something you need to tell us-"

Emma was interrupted as just at that moment, Belle burst through the door of the diner with a new revelation concerning Zelena's plans.

* * *

Time travel- so that's what the witch was after. As he sat in the morning light of his rented room, he puzzled over the events of the previous night. From what Cora had shown Snow and through the research Belle had conducted, it seemed as if the witch wanted to change the past so that Cora would never have given her away. She wanted a second chance at the life she never had.

_Isn't that what we all want? Although, most people's second chances don't come at the expense chopping down an entire family tree. _

Though he didn't want to believe it was possible, he had a sinking feeling that Zelena would stop at nothing to achieve her goal. Desperate people do crazy things. It made him sick to his stomach to think about Emma never having been born. Shaking his head, he pushed the thought away. With all her training, Emma was becoming powerful enough to defeat Zelena.

He heard a knock at his door. He figured it might be Charming, as he said he had wanted to discuss something with him. He stepped toward the door to see who it was when suddenly it burst open and he found himself face to face with the Dark One.

Without hesitation, he reached for his gun and fired a single shot at the crocodile.

"Well that won't do, pirate."

With a wicked grin spread across his face, Gold halted the bullet's path just before it reached his heart. The Dark One flicked his wrist and the bullet somersaulted easily through the air before rolling to the floor near Hook's boot.

Without missing a beat, the captain drew his sword and lunged toward Rumplestiltskin, who again, appeared unalarmed. Another flick of his wrist rendered Killian immobile. His sword dropped to the floor with a loud _CLANG. _

"You're wasting your time," Gold spoke cooly.

"It was worth a shot. Go on then crocodile, kill me. Let's finish this." Hook's voice never wavered. He was tired of playing games. He would gladly forfeit and end his misery.

"As much as I'd throughly enjoy killing you, I'm afraid I can't do that just yet. Zelena has requested an audience with you and I'm obligated to deliver."

He appeared more or less indifferent about his confrontation with the captain. The old spark of hatred never arose in his eyes.

_I guess threatening people loses its thrill when you're being controlled by a witch._

Gold snapped his fingers and a thick rope appeared out of nowhere. The length of rope writhed before coiling itself violently around Killian's wrists, binding them together.

Next thing he knew, he was bound and gagged, being bumped and tossed in the trunk of a car. He wasn't quite accustomed to riding in an automobile and this was decidedly _not_ a pleasant experience. When the car finally stopped, he heard a muffled conservation taking place outside the vehicle, before the trunk door was flung open. Silhouetted against the hazy blue sky, Zelena and Rumplestiltskin stood peering down at him.

The witch took a step closer. One long stem rose dangled in her hand.

Kidnapping him, driving him to the middle of nowhere, and now a rose? He vaguely wondered if there was a reason for all the dramatic ploys. As soon as she removed the gag from his mouth, he wasted no time sparring with the witch.

"Do you think we could have spared the theatrics? If you wanted to speak to me, you knew where to find me."

She giggled softly, brushing the red rose over his lips.

"Such pretty lips, and yet so wasted."

Her eyes lingered over them for a moment.

"Why haven't you used those luscious lips and kissed Emma?"

He couldn't help but roll his eyes. Despite her best efforts, he was far from intimidated.

"Well, a fellow likes to be courted."

He touched a nerve. Through her would-be powerful facade, he could tell how insecure the witch really was. She was afraid of Emma.

"This isn't a joke. I need to have her magic removed!"

Desperation and impatience mingled with her words. Straightening herself ever so slightly, Zelena continued.

"If Snow's baby is born before your kiss, I'm going to have no other option. I'm going to have to start killing people, people that Emma loves, starting with her son."

There it was. Her last hold over him. Killian struggled against his bonds as she tossed the rose onto his chest.

"Remove her powers, Captain, or the next rose will be for her little brat's grave."

With her hand now resting on the trunk hatch, he made a desperate move.

"It won't work!" He growled at her.

Zelena raised her eyebrows, letting her hand fall back at her side.

"Oh? And why is that?"

"True love's kiss will break any curse. Emma is in love with me."

The witch let out a genuine cackle at his declaration. She called his bluff; He never was a good liar.

"Then what are you waiting for captain? Satisfy your lover with a kiss and foil my plans."

A smile still dancing on her lips, Zelena stooped down and gracefully sat on the edge of the trunk.

"Why do you think I chose to curse you instead of her boy or her parents, pirate?"

She paused for a moment, letting him try and figure it out.

"It was too easy, you fit the part so perfectly."

Another chuckled bubbled over her thin lips before she could continue.

"She doesn't love you and she never will love you, Hook. After all, who could? You're nothing but a treacherous, thieving pirate- pretty to look at, but underneath it all, your heart is rotten and foul."

Her face inched closer to his as her gloved fingers slithered down his jaw.

"What were your words again? _'Endless torment and wasted years'?_ For villains, there is no love, only power. Time to join the winning side my pretty."

* * *

**Oooo witchy woman. Will Hook side with Zelena? Will Emma ever love him? What about the kiss? Stay tuned for the next chapter. Things are going to get heated! To all you who are new to the story, welcome! Love the reviews and comments everyone- you are the reason I post!**


	7. Chapter 7

Killian's heart was beating out of his chest as Gold dumped him back in an alleyway behind the diner.

_'Time to join the winning side..'_

The witch's words played over and over in his head. After all the heart-ache trying to be good had brought him, he briefly entertained the idea. Then a vision of Henry writhing in pain passed through his mind, Emma screaming, helpless to stop her. He shook his head; He could never do that to either of them. He despised himself for even thinking it.

Enough was enough, he needed to tell Emma what was going on, no matter the consequences. The anxiety that something was going to happen to Henry was building. He needed to act fast before something terrible occurred.

He stood, brushing himself off, as Gold slipped away in the black car. With steady steps and a heavy heart, he walked around the side of the diner, intending to meet up with Emma. He spotted her yellow bug parked outside when he noticed Henry, looking very suspicious, with her car keys.

The boy looked around before trying to unlock the car door. Killian observed him for a moment before making his presence known.

"Where are you off to there, mate?"

Henry's face said it all. He had been caught.

"Uh- nowhere"

The boy was a bad liar.

_He'd make a bloody terrible pirate._

"You're in quite the rush to go nowhere."

He gave up his story.

"Fine. I'm going home."

Killian raised his eyebrows. That wasn't what he was expecting. He loved his mother more than anything. It wasn't like him to go behind her back.

"Mmm. You're running away."

"Whatever."

_Oh, the boy had gotten sassy over the last year._

"You're planning on driving all the way back to New York. One lesson and you think you're ready for that?"

He tried to appeal to the boy's logic, recalling the damage he did after only 5 minutes of operating a vehicle.

"No, just to the nearest bus station."

He was telling the truth this time. At least he had that much sense about him. Still, Henry had no idea that even as they stood on the street, his life was in serious peril.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that. It's too dangerous."

"I don't care what you think," Henry replied dismissively. He continued to let himself into the car.

Becoming increasingly annoyed, Killian retorted, "Well you should," as he snapped the driver's side door shut.

He smiled, trying to take the edge off his threatening words. Thinking quickly, he realized that he could use this situation to protect Henry and get him away from the Wicked Witch.

"Because I've got a better way."

* * *

There was a tense silence between them. It was like your mom helping you sneak cookies from the cookie jar; It just seemed like a trap. Killian guessed the boy may have half been hoping someone would stop him before he followed through. Whatever the circumstances, Hook was going to make sure he got on a boat to New York as soon as possible and left this wretched situation before it got any worse.

He thought of a conversation he had with Emma.

_'He doesn't belong here. He belongs in New York.' _

He hadn't agreed with her at the time, but now he was inclined to agree, at least for now.

"Henry, why were you running away?"

Killian broke the silence as he looked down at Henry.

"I don't have to tell you," Henry replied defiantly.

He wasn't used to seeing Henry so guarded. These few weeks had been really hard on him: finding out about his father after his passing, moving to a strange town, being taken away from his life in New York.

Although his flippant attitude was quite off-putting, Killian tried his best to be compassionate.

"Aye, you don't, but you should."

Henry paused for a moment.

"It's my mom. She drug me out to this stupid town to work a case that she won't talk about, she's always gone, always stressed, and always passing me off to someone else to look after me."

"Lad, do you have faith that she loves you?"

Henry rolled his head a bit.

"I guess.. yes."

"That's what you need to hold on to. Then, one day, you'll look back on everything and it'll all make sense. You'll see how she loved you even when you didn't feel it."

Killian could see Henry chewing on his words as they walked again in silence.

He suspected Smee would be out and around the docks, as he worked there most days. Smee was someone he could trust. He was simple, but generally honest and good hearted. The plan hadn't completely formed in his head and he was more or less making it up on the spot. The main priority, however, was getting Henry to safety.

"Henry, this is a friend of mine, Mr. Smee."

Henry gave both of them a funny look.

"You mean like from Peter Pan?"

_Shit. _

He had forgotten how pervasive the (untrue) tale of Peter Pan was in this land. Smee looked utterly confounded.

"You remember?"

"I've seen that movie a million times."

"Smee is quite a common name in the sea-faring world."

_Complete bullshit._

He didn't even have time to come up with a better explanation. Shockingly, Henry seemed to buy it for the moment.

_A one handed man in strange clothes introduces you to a sailor named Smee who keeps referring to him as 'captain' and you're not even suspicious? _

"As luck would have it, he's making sail to New York and would be happy for the company."

"I am?" Smee looked at the captain who shot him a threatening glance. "I mean, I am!"

"Really? Where's your ship?" Henry asked.

Fumbling for a moment, Smee pointed behind him and replied, "Um, there she is."

"You're stealing it, right?" Henry already knew the answer.

"Do you want to go to New York or not?"

_Why must the boy make this so difficult!_

Henry paused.

"Why are you helping me?"

_I shouldn't be and I wouldn't be if it weren't to keep you out of danger._

Killian struggled to find the right words.

"Captain-" Smee's worried voice drew his attention to a winged figure swiftly approaching.

"Mr. Smee, we need to get the lad to the boathouse."

"Why, what's going on? Killian, what is that?"

The three stood paralyzed for a moment as the terrible beast charged toward them.

"Now!" Killian shouted as they bolted toward the boathouse.

* * *

After the events that happened in the boathouse, everyone getting their memories back, Emma saving Henry, David, Mary Margaret and Emma accusing him, Killian was feeling completely drained. Needing to clear his head and take his mind off of the previous day, he took a long walk by the woods. Overcast skies left a dreary, foreboding gloom over the forrest. He was content to commiserate with weather as he journeyed. With the truth about his cursed lips out, he really wanted to see Emma, to beg her to allow him to explain. Instead, he kept his distance. He knew that's what she wanted from him at the moment.

The past few months, the past year actually, he felt as if he had gained everyone's trust, that he had been worthy of trust for the first time in a _very_ long time. And yet, he was again stuck in-between wanting to escape the life he used to lead and feeling unable to find his place among the good people.

After the altercation he had with Emma and the Charmings, he set his heart on leaving Storybrooke after Zelena was defeated. That way, he will have done his duty to protect Emma and her family, and after that, he would leave them to enjoy their life together. As for him, he planned to set sail alone, back to the Enchanted Forrest with the intention of starting over, trying to right the wrongs he had committed, and maybe find love again. It was his only hope of bringing purpose back to his life.

Endless days of chasing revenge and pleasure had only amounted to a chasm of unfulfilled longings in his heart. He knew now that the only thing worth living for was love. Without the hope of love, he had no desire to live.

As he walked, he decided it was time for him to make peace with one person in particular. He turned right at the fork, leading him down the path toward a clearing. He felt his palms sweat and his heart race as his feet carried him to the resting place of the boy he used to know. He stood before Baelfire's headstone, unable to move for a moment, reflecting on their time together aboard the Jolly Roger. Falling to his knees, Killian uttered his final apologies.

He remembered the heartbreaking look of betrayal on Bae's face upon discovering his past with his mother. He silently cursed himself for being so selfish. He hadn't known Milah was married and a mother when they met but he sure as hell knew it as they ran away together. It had never occurred to him before how selfish it was of Milah to abandon her son. He was complicit in that wrong doing. He was the reason Bae grew up without a mother.

As his eyes fell upon the inscription on the grave stone, 'Beloved Son', a tear rolled down his cheek.

"I'm so sorry Bae."

He wondered if he had done things differently, if he had been a different person, whether Baelfire would have chosen to stay with him on the Jolly Roger. His heart ached as reflected on how much he would have loved to raise him as his own son.

Suddenly, his thoughts were sharply cut off as he detected movement out of the corner of his eye. He drew his sword as he leapt to his feet. Heart pounding, he whipped his head around, expecting to see Zelena. Instead, his eyes fell on Emma, standing not 20 yards away. He let out a long sigh of relief as he returned his sword to its sheath and walked toward her. Her red coat stood out among the dark trees. She had donned her armor once again.

"Miss Swan" He greeted her with an enduringly somber tone.

"Hook." Her voice was nearly unreadable. It wasn't angry but it sure as hell wasn't friendly.

"I believe apologies are in order."

She raised her eyebrows slightly, daring him to suggest that she owed him an apology.

He looked down as he scratched his ear.

"I should have told you about the curse Zelena placed on me, but I was afraid. The witch threatened that if I told you, she would kill Henry."

He paused as he looked squarely into Emma's challenging eyes.

"It was wrong of me to take the boy's welfare into my own hands. In my desire to protect him, I made a serious error. I should have trusted that you were strong enough to handle it. I made the mistake of underestimating you, Swan."

Her brow softened a bit but her jaw remained set, her lips in a tight line.

"I can't trust you- I don't want you around Henry anymore."

Her wavering voice revealed that she wished her words weren't true.

His breath caught in his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt a knife twist into his heart. He met her hazel eyes. He had really developed a fondness for Baelfire's son. Old scars on his heart tore open.

He choked back his hurt and frustration.

"I'm sorry, Emma."

As, they stood facing each other in the silence of the morning gloom, tiny drops a rain began to fall. He knew she could discern that he was telling the truth and yet she still would't trust him. She pressed her lips together.

"He's all I have, Killian."

He stood motionless, watching her walk across the clearing, past Baelfire's grave, and disappear into the woods as the rain began to pour.

* * *

**mmm more drama. I'm realizing this has been a pretty sad story for Killian so far. Will it get better or will it get worse before it gets better? Time will tell! I will be updating shortly. Thanks for the reviews and I'm totally with you guys, they should not have been so hard on poor Hook!**


	8. Chapter 8

He sat alone at the bar downing glass after glass of he didn't care what. This had been his routine for the last few nights. In the daytime, though he hadn't been himself, still joined the effort to stop Zelena. At night, however, he couldn't sleep, unable to shut out the demons. Ever since his conversation with Emma, there was a sense of hopelessness that lingered in the pit of his stomach. In one way, he knew that he had sown a life of debauchery and was reaping a harvest of mistrust. In another way, he was just pissed as hell that despite his best efforts, he was still being regarded as a villain.

He heard the faint tick-tock from the clock on the wall and the buzz of the neon sign.

Killian poured himself another glass. These days, it was taking a hell of a lot longer for him to dull his sorrow and drown out the voices.

In the distance, he heard footsteps approaching from down the hall. At this hour, he knew those soft footsteps could only be one person. He wondered what she could possibly want with him. She had had more opportunities to talk with him over the past few days but she hadn't taken them. When they interacted, their conversations were brief and polite.

The interior door to the diner swung open and he heard the footsteps stop behind him. There was a tense pause. Her voiced sounded abruptly, wavering with anger. "You have no right to do this."

He didn't even turn to face her.

"Do what exactly?"

"To drink yourself into oblivion every night and ignore what's happening while the Wicked Witch is cooking up a plot to change the past so that my family never existed!"

Tossing another drink back, he replied, "Mm. Afraid I do, love."

He still wouldn't face her.

She moved around to his side. Her voice got louder as her frustration grew.

"Do you realize you're letting everyone down- we need you Hook!"

His elbow resting on the bar, he turned to look at her.

"Is that so?" There was no effort from him to soften the delivery of his arrogant words. He was done with the simpering, love-sick boy routine. None of it mattered now anyway.

She had picked the wrong time to corner him. Blame it on the alcohol or the days of frustration, but he was certainly fit to be tied. He was pulling no punches tonight.

He stared in to his glass as he swirled around its amber contents.

"And who are you to lecture me about what I should or shouldn't be doing for the sake of you and your family, Emma?"

"I thought you cared-"

"About you? I care a great deal about you, Emma."

His tone was dark as he finally met her gaze.

"And yet," he set his drink down and leaned closer to her, "none of you give a** damn** about me. Even as I've proven my loyalty time and time again, you and your 'charming' parents were awfully quick to turn on me instead of having faith that I was telling the truth. And when you knew of Zelena's plan, you didn't hesitate to blame and accuse me. You were all just waiting for a reason not to trust me."

"You _are_ a pirate Killian, do you not remember that?"

"Yes! A pirate!"

He stood from his stool as he gestured wildly with his hands, his voice dripping with venomous sarcasm. A terrible smile played on his face.

"Thank you for reminding me who I truly am- what every person in this BLOODY town sees me as."

He stepped closer to her, and though he could tell she wanted to step back, she stood her ground. His intense blue eyes bore into hers as he spoke his impassioned words.

"I have sailed to the ends of the earth for you, to a place I'd vowed never to return, saved the life of the man you loved as well as the life of your father, ended my quest for vengeance against Henry's grandfather, forfeited my life of piracy and **SOLD MY BLOODY SHIP **to show you the depth of my love, and yet you still question my motives!"

His voice built into a raging crescendo before finishing with a cold, quiet realization.

"But now, it's clear to me; I finally understand. I know that no matter what I do, it will never be good enough for you. I will never measure up."

Killian stepped away from her to grab his bottle from the bar, letting it swing wildly between his careless fingers. He took a long swig as he spoke again, this time louder and with a humorless grin stretching across his face.

"And you asked me why I left the Enchanted Forrest. Isn't it quite obvious, love? It's because these damn heroes will always count my sins against me. I will always be regarded with contempt and mistrust. And you know what love, if i'm going to be treated like a pirate, I may as well be a fucking pirate!" He was shouting again.

With that, Killian strode decisively toward the door to head back to his room. He paused before exiting, his back to her. He turned back around to face Emma, who was standing wordlessly near the bar.

He spoke again, this time with tears in his eyes and a lump in this throat.

"I will fight for you, Emma. I will do whatever it takes to save you and your family, even if it costs me my life, because I am in love with you. But don't you dare tell me what I can and can't do because we both know, when this is all over, I'll be nothing more to you than a worthless pirate from a bad dream."

He turned and left her standing in the middle of the darkened diner and as he pushed through the door, he thought he heard her whisper, "I'm sorry."

* * *

**You tell 'er Hook! Hopefully things look up for our pirate captain from here. I think they will ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

She wasn't one to be misunderstood or to leave doubt about what she meant. Emma strode after him, catching his left forearm, just above his hook.

She repeated her words, this time louder.

"I'm sorry, Killian,"

He looked back at her. He took a breath, not daring to wholly trust her words, not daring to hope again. He had rarely seen her look quite so unguarded. Her eyes were wide with a childlike fear of disappointing people.

"I'm glad. I'm glad you're sorry, Emma."

He looked beyond her shoulder, his brows furrowed, his lips parted as he paused.

"But how many times are you going to leave me chained to that beanstalk?"

"That was once!" Her apologetic demeanor was quickly evaporating.

"Was it, love?"

He leaned in, searching her eyes. She still didn't seem to understand.

"I've never lied to you, Emma, and yet you won't give me your trust. You're scared to take a chance that you were wrong about me, that I'm not a heartless, selfish pirate, but a man of honor."

Judging by her speechlessness, he could tell his words struck a chord with her. Somewhere deep down, she knew what he was saying was true.

They stood together in the stillness of the diner, in a moment outside of time. After weeks and months of flirtation, tension, and attraction, they were at a turning point. They both knew things wouldn't be the same after this night.

The clock on the wall softly ticked and the sound of the occasional passing car hummed in the background.

Emma closed the gap between them ever so slightly. Her outstretched fingers lightly brushed the cuff of his coat, regarding it absentmindedly before hesitantly meeting his gaze. The way her brow furrowed and her lips turned apologetically told him everything she didn't say.

"I can't"

The words escaped her lips in barely a whisper.

Killian could feel tears begin to well in his eyes. Squeezing his eyes shut, he forced them back and took a deep breath. Another moment passed. He felt a deep pain clench around his heart as he brought his blue eyes to meet hers again.

A sorrowed expression colored her face. Her pink lips parted as they formed his name in a whisper.

"Kil.."

Her voice trailed off as he shook his head. Reaching out, he stroked her blonde locks with a shaky hand. His right hand moved to trail along her jaw. He was losing his nerve.

"It.. it doesn't have to be me, Emma. It doesn't have to be me."

Tears were once again threatening to pour down his face. Killian tried the best he could to steady his voice but the emotion was overwhelming him.

"I want you to find love, to learn to trust. Find your home, Emma."

* * *

After their conversation that night, things had been a little raw. Killian felt as if he could never stop loving her and that she could never let herself love him in return.

He had just had another brief, tense conversation with her on the street outside Granny's. Now, as he had done so many times before, Killian stood and watched her as she turned and left. She looked a bit sad as she walked away. He shut it out; He tried not to care.

Out of the corner of his eye, Hook saw David striding aggressively toward him so he began walking in the opposite direction. It was no use.

David shouted after him.

"What the hell is going on?"

Killian, undeterred, called back over shoulder.

"I dunno what you're talking about, _mate_."

David pushed his arm and swung Killian around to face him. He was in full blown dad-mode.

"Emma has been upset recently and I can't help but think that it has something to do with you."

In brief moments like this, Hook heard in his tone the authority of a once ruler and prince. David was invading his space and beginning to point his finger into the pirate's chest.

"She has enough to worry about without you distracting and upsetting her."

Hook was incredulous.

_More accusations ay?_

After all he had shared and trusted the prince with, he, above anyone else, should be sympathetic to his plight.

Hook didn't back down, instead his voice raised to match his accuser's.

"Oh bugger off. Now you're gonna come in here on your white horse, throwing more accusations at me like I give a damn about what you think."

David raised his eyebrows; He was not expecting Hook to push back.

Recapturing his thoughts, the prince snapped back,

"Well you should, Hook. I'm her father and I will do everything in my power to see to it that you never get her."

He was quite serious as he glared at the pirate.

Killian raised his eyebrows and stuck his tongue in his cheek, as he nodded. The arrogant smirk that pulled at his lips was completely devoid of humor.

"What are you gonna do? Impugn my honor, accuse me of lying, sabotage my relationship with her?"

He leaned in closely as he spat his disgust at Charming.

"Given that you've already done that, what else do you think you can do to me, _Dave_? Lock me up, kill me? Be my guest. You'll find I'm a man with nothing to lose."

"Nothing to lose, huh? I guess you never really loved her after all."

He understood David was under a lot of stress with a witch scheming to steal his unborn child but he had been a real git lately. Hook grit his teeth and glared off beyond Charming's shoulder, his eyes dark. It was no use arguing with him.

"I'm leaving when this is all through."

He looked back at Charming's eyes, secretly enjoying the expression of shock and outrage his statement caused.

"You said it yourself, mate- She'll never like me."


	10. Chapter 10

While he was hardly on the short list of people to notify, it didn't take him long to find out that Snow was going into labor. News travels fast in a small town.

When the buzz reached his ears, he felt a deep sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. It was as if the clock had finally run down and the day of reckoning had arrived. There was an electricity in the air; Everyone was on edge with restless anticipation.

Though Killian had been on rocky terms with the Charmings over the past week, he felt a sense of duty to do what he could to help Emma and her family.

By the time Hook arrived at the hospital, everyone was already beginning to position themselves in preparation for the witch's arrival. Following the trail of armed fairy tale characters, he soon caught sight of Emma casting what he assumed were protective enchantments around the room where her mother was getting ready to deliver.

He took a moment to admire her as she focused intently on her spell. He smiled unwittingly. Since her training began, she wielded her magic with real authority.

Hearing his footsteps, Emma turned to face him.

Despite all the tense moments they'd had in recent days, he tried to lighten the mood.

"I heard the little royal was on his way."

Her expression was reserved. She wasn't angry but she certainly had her walls up.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to be here."

"I want to help."

She didn't miss a beat.

"I can't do this right now, Hook."

Killian could tell she was just deflecting. He spoke low and steady.

"Emma, I know things have strained between us as of late-"

"Hook, seriously-"

"But I want to help. I refuse to stand by when I know you and your family are in danger."

"I don't need your help."

"Well, whether you like it or not, you will have my help."

Knowing she had no real point to argue, Emma sighed and reverted back to her most aggravating argument.

"I can't trust you, Hook."

_Was she still trying to give him this bull shit? They both knew it went deeper than that._

She stopped for a second, staring him squarely in the eyes. Killian returned her gaze, pleading with her to see reason. Then abruptly, Emma turned and started walking the other way.

As he sauntered slowly behind her, he saw Charming stride out into the hallway to intercept Emma. Hook couldn't exactly hear what the prince was saying to his daughter but Emma didn't look happy about it.

He heard her say, "Are you insane?"

David called over his shoulder toward Hook, "You're going with her to stop the witch."

Surprised by his sudden change of tune, Killian shot back, "Hmm, thought you didn't trust me, mate."

David sighed, "Zelena backed you into a corner, you did the best you could."

"See, even your father gets it."

"That's because he knows about keeping secrets from loved ones."

That last little jab seemed to upset David. At least Hook knew her angry, unreasonable attitude wasn't reserved just for him.

"I'm sorry, I'm doing this alone."

"No, you're not. This isn't about you, this is about all of us."

David was clearly losing his patience, as was Emma. Killian felt like he was watching a stubborn child arguing with her dad.

Emma's voice got louder.

"What is he going to do?! I have magic, he's got one hand!"

"Goddammit, Emma. Was that really necessary?" Killian interjected from over David's shoulder.

Emma looked at him unapologetically, as if to say, 'Well, it's true!'.

He knew she was stressed but that was a cheap shot.

David sighed again. "At the very least, he can draw fire."

"Bloody wonderful, and now I'm canon fodder! It's a wonder I'm willing to risk my life for you lot."

Without looking at Hook, Emma begrudgingly agreed to let him come with her.

Ready to face his likely demise and frankly, ready to be done with every blasted one of them, he started to walk past Emma.

"Shall we?"

* * *

Moments like this made him wonder why he'd stayed around as long as he had. Hook briefly questioned whether he'd be able to escape this damn town with even a shred of his dignity and self respect.

After bidding Henry farewell at the hospital, the two of them began walking toward the Wicked Witch's known hideout with the intention of intercepting her before she kidnapped Snow's baby. Killian felt his palms sweating and his adrenaline begin to pulse as they approached nearer and nearer to the farmhouse.

His companion showed her anxiousness in a different way. In the midst of this very perilous situation, Emma spent their entire trek bickering with him about why she needed to leave Storybrooke, why he had been wrong for bringing her back there, and any other previously forgotten offense she could think of.

"I don't care what you thought the consequences were, you should have told me what was going on."

Killian just sighed. He'd had this conversation with her several times before. It wasn't worth repeating.

"And if you couldn't tell me, why didn't you tell anyone? I'm sure Regina could have found something to help you."

He watched her blonde locks flash angrily behind her as he struggled to keep her pace.

"I did. I spoke to your father right after it happened. I told him I was leaving and he persuaded me to stay and, as you yourself suggested, talk to Regina. David and I spoke with her that night. I explained what Zelena had done but she couldn't offer any useful solution."

Emma whipped around, stopping in her tracks.

"I don't buy that for a second. Curses and enchantments can always be broken with the right antidote."

The pirate averted his gaze, suddenly feeling awkward. He scratched his ear as he continued.

"Aye. She told me True Love's Kiss would break the curse."

He stole a glance at Emma's face, hoping to gage her reaction. She looked intensely at him and opened her mouth as if she was ready to shoot off another snarky put down, but she didn't. It seemed as though something had just dawned on her, but he couldn't tell what.

Killian paused, trying to formulate his next words.

"After deciding there was no_ plausible_ way to undo the curse, I made up my mind to leave, to keep you and your family safe by taking myself out of the picture."

Brows still furrowed, Emma regarded him a moment longer before starting to walk again.

* * *

Blood pumping and hearts racing, Emma and Hook finally came upon the farm where they first discovered Zelena was keeping Gold captive. After searching the house to no avail, they moved quickly on to the out buildings.

"I've not known the witch to be shy," Killian remarked as they slunk around the side of the large barn.

"She knows I can defeat her, maybe she wants the element of surprise on her side," Emma replied in a hushed tone.

Killian raised his eyebrows as if to acknowledge her point.

"I'm going in first, watch my back," Emma remarked as they crept soundlessly into the barn.

Emma stopped in front of him, and as he stepped out from behind her, he saw why. In the center of the barn, a giant magical symbol was carved into the dirt.

"What the hell.."

Within seconds, it was clear that they were alone and that Zelena and Gold were not at the farm.

"Shit."

With wide eyes, Emma turned around to face him.

"We need to get back to the hospital, fast!"

* * *

**Hmm a bit of a deviation from the show! Will Hook's lips ever cease to be cursed? Is it true love?**

**I seriously love reading all your reviews. Thanks to everyone who takes the time to do that. I really brightens my day and encourages me to keep writing 3**

**FYI Hook and Emma will find themselves in the time portal. Will things turn out the same? I don't know ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

No sooner than they had arrived at the hospital, then they saw David rushing toward them.

"She's taken your brother!"

His face was white with panic.

Looking between Hook and her father, Emma replied,

"I know where to, come on, follow me."

With that, they charged out the door, Robin, David, Regina, Hook, and Emma.

* * *

Before long, the five of them burst through the open barn, armed and ready to stop the witch.

"This ends today, Zelena!" Emma called out in fury.

The witch looked like she'd been expecting them as she stood in the swirling midst of her time portal spell.

"Glad we can agree upon something, _savior_."

A smile twitched at the corner of Zelena's lips as she spoke.

"The question is, what kind of savior are you?"

Zelena flicked her wrist and before he knew what was happening, Killian felt himself being lifted into the air. He writhed in pain as an invisible force pressed against his body from every side and he felt his throat begin to close.

"Would you choose to defeat me over the life of your dear captain, or should I just stop his heart?"

Hook's eyes darted toward Emma's. He shook his head frantically; He didn't want her to fall into the witch's trap.

_No, Emma, don't do it. She's trying to distract you._

Emma glanced at Killian before opening her palms and squeezing her eyes shut in concentration. She looked as though she was preparing to use magic against her when Zelena continued.

"Poor, heartbroken pirate. I think I'll put him out of his misery."

With that, Killian landed flat on his back, out cold.

"Killian!" Emma's strangled cry filled the barn as she rushed to his side, forgetting for a moment about stopping Zelena.

Without hesitation, Regina stepped forward.

"Zelena, stop now. We're not going to let you succeed."

As Regina squared off against her sister, Emma rushed to the fallen captain's side and struggled to revive him. Her golden locks fell over his chest as she checked for a pulse.

No pulse.

She frantically pounded on his chest, like she'd seen people do before.

She checked his pulse again, still nothing.

"No! Hook, come back to me! Please"

She pounded on his chest again as the tears started to well in her eyes. It wasn't working.

"Killian! Please, come back to me."

Emma looked around frantically, then stopped. Magic. She took a deep breath and, straddling his unconscious body, placed both her hands on his chest and focused.

Within seconds she saw a flash of white light and felt heat radiating from her fingertips. Killian's heart started to pound beneath her hands.

A wash of relief flooded her face as she felt his pulse returning.

Hook drew a rattling breath as his eyes fluttered open.

"Swan!"

Emma smiled momentarily before turning to see a flash of white light blasting from Regina and overtaking the witch, sending her tumbling to the ground.

Acting quickly, Emma scrambled to her feet and grabbed the Dark One's dagger while Regina snatched the source of Zelena's magic from around her neck.

Once they realized the witch was powerless, everyone jumped back into action. Robin secured Regina's heart while David lunged after his newborn son.

Emma rushed to where David was cradling her brother.

"Is he alright?"

David turned to her and with a small smile replied, "Yea, he can handle anything, just like his sister."

* * *

Compared to the last few weeks of frayed nerves and hot tempers, the hours that followed Zelena's defeat were jovial and light. Emma was overjoyed to meet her new brother and to be able to deliver him safely back into his mother's arms. After accompanying David and the baby back to the hospital, Emma, Hook and the rest of crew headed back to Granny's for a drink.

Killian stayed toward the back, looking intently into his glass as he sat at the bar. He had been feeling rather contemplative since he sat down. With the events of the past hours, he hadn't really had the chance to reflect on what was next for him. It was finally all over.

A wry smile formed on his lips. Life in Storybrooke was over for him too. He had decided to leave once he knew Emma and her family were no longer in danger. Not only were his lips still cursed, but he felt as if staying near Emma, the woman he loved passionately but who didn't return his feelings, would slowly kill him.

His brows furrowed as he swirled his drink around in its glass. Movement out of the corner of his eye and a glimpse of red interrupted his thoughts. Turning his head, Killian suddenly noticed the diner had all but cleared out except for the blonde woman strolling toward him.

"Hey." She tilted her head flirtatiously, a small smile graced her lips.

"Swan." He couldn't help but return it.

_Trying to make up for all your prior unpleasantness, ey?_

"I never did get a chance to say thank you, for saving my life."

She smiled in surprised amusement.

"Did you really think I would just let you die?"

"Given our shared history, can you blame me for being uncertain?"

He waggled his eyebrows, remembering the time she left him on the beanstalk.

She smiled a bit sheepishly; She knew he was right.

Emma looked down, fidgeting with her hand for a moment before bringing her eyes back up to meet his.

"You know.. we should really give it a shot."

"What's that, love?"

"You don't want to be cursed forever, do you?" She raised her eyebrows and smiled a bit, helping to convey the meaning of her words.

He searched her eyes, not believing what he was hearing.

"I will endure what I must for the sake of you retaining your magic." His voice was low, full of steady conviction.

"What if you didn't have to choose? What if we could break the curse?"

Emma was inching closer to him now.

"Emma, I don't think-"

"But what if it is?" Her fingers reached onto the counter to curl around his hook.

His eyes darted from her hand back to her eyes.

"I'm not worth it, Emma. The price is too high."

"Killian, you have to let me try."

"I do not."

"Never thought I'd have to persuade a pirate to kiss me."

"Maybe I'm trying to put your wellbeing before my own desires."

"It's not just your choice, Killian. I get to choose too." She smiled mischievously as her fingers twisted around the pendants that hung from his neck.

"Swan, I won't risk it-" His resolve was disappearing by the second.

She leaned even closer; Her hot breath was on his cheek.

"Could you really live the rest of your life like this?" She whispered longingly into his ear.

"I don't think it will work-" Killian swallowed hard, knowing his words were true.

"Only one way to find out." And with that, she thrust her lips upon his, leaning into him with her full strength. With one hand on the back on his head, she held her lips firmly against his, not breaking contact.

Before he could pull back, Hook felt an intense tingling in his lips as the curse was activated and with a bright flash, Emma's magic disappeared from her body.

He broke off the kiss as they both struggled to catch their breath.

Killian's eyes were wide as saucers as he touched his fingers to his lips.

"What did you do?!"

* * *

**At least Killian isn't cursed anymore, right? But why did Emma do that? What will this mean for them going forward? The next few chapters will be really fun.**

**As always, thanks for reading and reviewing. You keep me going :D We've all got to keep each other going through the hiatus, right?**


	12. Chapter 12

Emma's chest rose and fell as she looked down at her body. She must've felt different and was expecting to see a discernible change in her appearance as well. There wasn't one. Her eyes looked up again toward the pirate who was standing before her, rendered speechless by her actions.

She didn't exactly look surprised but there was something else there- disappointment? Was she disappointed that she had lost her magic, or was she disappointed that it didn't work.

"I.. I better get back, Henry is still at the hospital with David."

_She's running again._

"Swan- "

"I'll see you tomorrow I guess."

"Emma, wait- "

She paid his pleading tone no mind as she quickly gathered her things and rushed out the front door of the diner. His blonde vexation left him sitting there once again, confused and frustrated. The clattering bells and the shutting door joined with the sound of his fist pounding the bar and his glass jumping.

_Dammit._

Killian breathed a deep sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. He sensed it'd be best to wait until tomorrow to talk with her. They'd both had a long, emotional day.

After the lengths he had gone through to ensure he did not jeopardize her magical abilities, he was angry with himself for letting it happen. He had been seduced by the notion that they might be true love, that Emma herself believed they might be true love.

Deep down, he questioned whether or not she had actually thought it would work. On the other hand, why would she want to rid herself of magic?

He recalled the conversation he'd had with her earlier that day, about her still wanting to return to New York after Zelena had been vanquished. He wondered if she still felt that way.

A steady rain could be heard pattering against the windows and for some reason, he felt obliged to take a walk in it.

As he stood from his seat, his eyes drifted toward the bottle on the counter he had been drinking from. He decided against the rum, and instead, headed decisively out the door feeling unusually sober.

The former man of the sea was hardly bothered by the persistent rain that soaked his clothes as he headed toward the docks. He had always found that rain had an awakening effect on him, that it allowed him to see with a certain clarity.

Puddles and ripples glimmered in the marina lights; Rocking vessels and flapping sails appeared like specters in the driving rain.

As Hook stood on the edge of the docks, gazing out into the blackness of the stormy night, he felt utterly lost.

Since the death of his brother, he had spent the last few hundred years consumed by revenge and motivated by bitter anguish. Instead of grieving those he'd lost, he shoved his feelings to the back of his mind and keep them at bay with copious amounts of rum.

It had been so long since he allowed himself to feel anything but hate and selfish hunger, but now he did. He felt deeply- despair and pain, mixed with passion and love and hope.

And now, after the storm of magic, danger, and peril had passed, he was left with only his thoughts once more, without direction or purpose.

He vaguely heard footsteps joining the pitter-patter of the dwindling rain.

"Hook? What are you doing out here?"

A petite, female figure appeared from behind him.

Tink.

"You look like hell. What's going on?"

He felt like hell and couldn't offer a better response than the exasperated sigh that escaped his lips.

The blonde stepped closer to him, taking in his downcast appearance. Her brows furrowed and her lips pressed together. It had been a while since someone looked at him like that. She was worried about him.

"Who am I, Tink?"

He wasn't sure what he was hoping to hear, but the words slipped out despite him.

Killian looked down wearily at the green-clad sprite.

Her eyes twinkled with cheery mischief, "Why the most dashing, fearsome pirate captain that ever sailed the seven seas!"

Tink smiled as she stepped closer, her voice softer this time.

"And a good man."

He smiled slightly back at her. She was one of the few people in Storybrooke who really understood him. She'd met him at his worst, yet had always seen beyond the pirate to the broken man underneath. In this town, he couldn't say there were many people who cared about him, let alone people he could call friends, but she was one.

He paused for a long moment, regarding her gentle, pretty face.

"Tink, do you ever think you and I.."

"No." Her smile softened her firm words.

"You don't love me, Hook. You love Emma."

The man in black let out a soundless laugh.

"Aye. That is true." He looked out beyond the water as his next thought formed on his lips.

"But she doesn't love me."

"Maybe, but she likes you."

He raised his eyebrows; She was probably right.

"She's your second chance, Hook. You've got to fight for her."

His raised his eyebrows in indignation.

"_Keep_ fighting for her." She corrected.

_A man who won't fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets._

The mantra of his much younger self came ringing again in his ears.

"So you're finally here to help me get my happy ending then?"

Tinkerbelle beamed at his words.

"Well I _am_ a proper fairy now, after all."

He flashed a genuine smile at her this time.

"That you are."

Tink closed the distance between them and reached out to squeeze his good hand.

"Have faith, tomorrow will be a better day."

She reached up, cupping his jaw lightly with her other hand, and left a warm kiss on his cheek before turning to leave.

"Good night, Miss Belle." He left the words to float on the open air, without turning around.

She had comforted him more than he could say, more than he would admit.

Hook left the docks that night with a renewed sense of hope.

* * *

**I really love Hook and Tink. He could use more friends! **

**I've been loving your reviews. It's good to be among people who share my feelings :) You guys make me happy!**

**Thanks for staying with me for this story. It has been a tough road for our beloved pirate, but it will get better, I promise. The hardship makes the sweet moments that much sweeter. **


	13. Chapter 13

I truly apologize for the hiatus guys! I had a lot going on in my personal life and was unable to write for a while. Thanks for bearing with me. I will continue to post and have already written some future chapters that I'm super excited about (past!Hook *hint hint*). Thanks for reading and as always, your reviews are a joy and encouragement to me. Love you all!

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"I'll go talk to her."

He had awoken that morning with a restored hope in his happy ending. Hook had put the sadness and confusion of the previous night out of his mind and instead, tentatively joined in celebrating the birth of Snow and Charming's son. He hadn't meant to reveal her plans of leaving, but when it came out, when people began to question her, she was gone again.

Leaving the diner, he followed swiftly after Emma, hoping to talk some sense into her. Deep down, he never really believed she would leave. He could see it in her eyes. It was something else.

After a short while, he found her by a bench in the park.

"Swan! You're making a mistake."

"I don't want to talk about New York right now, Hook."

"So let's not." He strode assuredly toward her, his pent up frustration giving him the nerve to be more frank with her than usual. "Let's talk about last night."

His furrowed brows paired with his confrontational tone.

"Let's not-"

Hook kept barreling forward, ignoring her persistently guarded defenses.

"Has your power returned?"

The question came out more aggressively than he intended.

Her steady gazed remained locked with his, but her nervous fingers betrayed her.

"No."

Though Hook knew it hadn't, he wanted to know why she had kissed him the night before.

His eyes, though still boring into hers, softened with sadness. He looked down as he remembered that brief moment he dared to hope they were True Love.

Ocean blue eyes flicked back up again to connect with Emma's, his head tilted slightly.

"I'm sorry, love."

They both knew it wasn't his fault. She understood the consequences and made the choice.

"It's alright," She spoke slowly and deliberately, holding his gaze, "I won't need it in New York."

He raised his eyebrows in mock surprise and bit his lip.

"Ah, I see."

He sat down beside her, attempting a gentler tone.

"You can't do this, you belong here."

"I don't want to talk to you about this."

"Why are you so scared of staying, Emma? You can't just run away-"

"So, you're the only one who's allowed to run from your problems?" Emma snapped back at his words.

A strange mix of indignation and regret rose in his stomach as he recalled his attempt to flee in order to spare Emma and her family from the consequences of Zelena's curse.

"Emma, I was trying to protect you and your family. You must know that."

Seemingly unaffected, she continued, "We're moving back to New York where it's safe, where Henry can be safe."

"You keep saying you want to move back to New York to keep Henry safe but that's nonsense."

Emma pressed her lips together.

"I'm taking Henry and we're going back to the life we had. We're going home."

He could tell she was being stubborn.

"And that's in New York? That wasn't real."

The look in her eyes as she stared up him made his chest ache. He could tell how desperately she needed to be loved, to find a place where she belonged.

"If you won't listen to me, listen to your boy." Hook handed her the storybook. "He thought this might remind you what you're leaving behind."

"Why can't you build your life here, with your entire family?"

"Because of this!" She blurted out as she took the book from his hand and flipped through its pages with agitated fingers.

"I was never a part of this, I was never a part of any of this!"

"What are you a part of, Swan?" The leather-clad pirate leaned in to speak firmly and tenderly to the lost girl that sat before him.

"Besides Henry, I don't think I've really been a part of anything."

"But you could be." The pirate inched closer to where she sat on the bench, desperate to make her see what he saw.

"Look, when I was a kid I ran away, that's just what I did. The first time, I wondered if I would regret it, if I would miss the place I left behind."

Killian's heart pounded against his ribs. He could feel her pain so keenly.

"And did you?"

"Not the first time.. not any time."

"So you just keep running?"

"I learned something a long time ago, Hook, that home is the place that when you leave, you just miss it. So, yea, I'm going to keep running until I feel that."

Killian recognized that longing, far off look in her eyes. It had been on the faces of the Lost Boys in Neverland and it had been a feeling all too familiar in his life.

"So that's it then, you're just going to leave. And what about your parents? Don't you care about them… or anyone in this town?"

Her eyes were starting to water. Was that hint of regret in her saddened brow for him?

"Of course I care."

Her earnest words played on his heart.

"I just have to do what's best for me and for Henry and…"

Suddenly, her expression changed from one of sadness to one of alarm. Emma's attention was stolen by something off beyond his shoulder.

"What the hell is that?"

Looking back to where her eyes were fixed, Hook noted a fiery-looking magical pillar stretching from where Zelena's farm had been into the sky.

_Dammit, what could that possibly be? Didn't we just finish this whole magical war?_

"I have no idea.."


End file.
